Moop: The Series!
by Saph Rose
Summary: Drabble 23: 50 Sentences 2. A series of drabbles, ranging from long to short, revolving around worldwide sensation, Moop! Now that they're rich and famous, the boys only have to worry about screaming fangirls, paparazzi and tabloids. Daily updates!
1. Songwriting

_I love the way you look into my eyes_

_it's like you're staring into my soul._

_Even when you don't really see me,_

_you know I thinking of you._

_- - -  
_

"Cartman, that makes no sense. We're _not_ putting that into the song."

By the look on Kyle's face, the boys could see he meant business. Cartman frowned and Kenny got up to turn up the heater. Stan was asleep, tired out after the hours they'd spent in front of screaming fans in concert.

"Kahl, I don't think you understand the complexity of this song _I'm_ writing."

"It's stupid and it's not going in our album."

Eric Cartman looked at Kyle with a bored expression on his face. They went through this most every time they tried to sit down and write songs without Stan's help. "You seem to misunderstand your position in this band, my dear Kahl. _You_ are the sweet one and _I_ am the tough _leader._ That means I decide what words go into our songs." he said.

Kyle's face was getting redder at every word that stupid fucking tub of lard was spewing from the hole in his face. He said from between clenched teeth, "Stan is the songwriter! Not you, fatass!"

Cartman smirked and said, "Well, Stan is asleep right now. Which makes me the songwriter. Isn't that right Kenny?" The blond boy looked over at the bickering twosome, and rolled his eyes. "I don't care," he said, "I'm tired and it's freezing. Is your heater broken or something, Cartman?"

"Not as far as I know."

Kenny looked frustrated, "You see, this is why I wear my parka all the time. I can't deal with the cold weather." Earlier today, during their concert back home in Colorado as a part of their nationwide tour, Kenny had taken off his trademark orange parka because of the heat in the stadium and the fangirls went wild. A few had jumped on stage and ripped the parka from his hands. He had made sure the security wasn't too harsh on them, but he was really pissed. When asked why he didn't let them have it, he said he just wasn't a violent guy.

"Excuse me, earth to fatass. I think we should just wait until Stan wakes up and let him decide." said Kyle.

He really didn't think it was fair how he got the lamest role in the whole group. Stan was the cute, sensitive one. Kenny was the sexy one, and Cartman was the giant Juggernaut 'super cool badass", as he put it. Usually, the girls fawned over all four of them equally, but it seemed like Stan, Kenny and Cartman got more attention than him.

It was probably because he was the quiet type. Kyle did most of the behind the scenes work with the manager and publicist of the group. Which was, 'mega- boring as hell' as Cartman liked to put it. Which was mostly true, but he got more joy out of organizing interviews than doing them.

In all, being celebrities hadn't changed the boys personalities much. Stan was still happy-go lucky, Kenny was still perverted and Cartman was still narcissistic, rude, fat, psychopathic, and... well, you get the point. And Kyle was just the quiet ginger, who only raised his voice when he was upset. Usually with Cartman.

Like right now.

"You are so fucking stupid Cartman! I do not have sand in my fucking vagina!"

Cartman grinned, "It's just a metalaphor, Kahl. So you admit you have a vagina?" Kenny watched Kyle knock the stack of CDs Cartman had piled on the ground in his room, which seemed much smaller now that they were back home and used to, well, giant hotel rooms and penthouses.

"The word is _metaphor, _lardass, not metalaphor. God, talking to you is like talking to a little kid!"

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but you're jealous because I'm a much better songwriter than you."

Suddenly, Stan piped up, "Would you two kindly shut the fuck up? I'm trying to sleep. And no, I don't like those lyrics, Cartman. We're not keeping them."

- - -

A/N: First part of a series of drabbles based on the boys' band, Moop. I'll try to update every day. I'm doing this basically so I have something to dedicate myself to.

I have a problem with commitment, so writing a fic with chapters all in direct relation to each other scares the crap out of me. So this is kind of a way for me to break the commitment fear by giving myself an obligation every day, besides school and showering.

Please review.

If nobody is reading this then I see no reason to write.

D;


	2. Interview

_One song_

_about a girl._

_Can't breathe_

_when I'm around her._

_- - -  
_

Some fat broad was currently asking the boys of Moop some very personal questions, and Kyle didn't like it. They say any publicity is good publicity, but after the whole, _"Eric Cartman of Moop is having an affair with his one of his band mate's girlfriend!" _scandal, the boys had learned to keep their mouth shut on certain things.

They were sitting in an office, doing an interview for OK! Magazine. It was week three of their tour and they had taken time out of their hectic schedule to sit down with the magazine's top editor.

The walls were peeling, and it smelled kind of like pee, but they both knew that the interviewer raked in at least 150k a year.

They weren't surrounded by cameras in front of a studio audience, like they were used to. Instead, it was just Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman with the dumb broad and their publicist in the background, telling them what they can and can't say. But Wendy, their publicist, knew that Kyle had it under control.

There was a tape recorder on the hard wooden table in front of them, and somehow that was even more unnerving than a dozen cameras.

Cartman had kind of spaced out when the next question was directed at him, "So Eric, who do you think you're closest to in the band. As in, who is your closest friend?"

He had been about to answer none, he hated all of them when Kyle nudged him, so he rolled his eyes and said the line that Kyle had made all of the boys memorize when asked too much of a personal question. "That's personal. If we could keep this interview about the music, that would be great." he said in a deadpan voice. _Frankovitz? She's probably Jewish. God, that would make complete sense right now,_ Cartman thought.

Kyle smiled. He had taught him well. The lady, who's name Kyle remembered was Natasha Frankovitz, looked kind of frustrated. She cleared her throat and directed the next question at Kenny, who was wearing that mysterious smile he always had on his face.

"Kenny, you're twenty-two, and I correct?" she said. Kenny nodded his head, wondering where this was going. Then he remembered he was supposed to answer each question out loud, so he mumbled, "Yeah, that's right."

Ms. Frankovitz smiled and said, "What does it feel like being a year older than your band mates?"

Kenny responded the same way as Cartman. The interviewer frowned, but pushed on "Were you kept down a year in school or did you start school late?" she said.

Wendy cleared her throat and said softly from the back of the room, "I think this interview is about finished. We've been here for two hours, I trust you've gotten enough information to fill your article."

Natasha looked upset, but she kept that unnerving smile on her face and she said from between lipstick stained teeth, "Yes, I do believe I've gotten enough on these boys to fill an entire issue of the magazine."

Kyle frowned. That didn't sound good.

- - -

_OK! Magazine's EXCLUSIVE Interview with Teen Sensation, Moop!_

_What you didn't know about America's dream-boys!_

Kyle skimmed through the article. He normally didn't read the tabloids, but he made an exception because they had consented to this interview. He picked out choice sentences and underlined them to show the guys tomorrow.

- - -

Kyle was reading aloud the parts of their interview that he had underlined. They were sitting in their tour bus, on their way out of Massachusetts, their last concert in Boston.

"Listen to this, Stan. 'Stan, the blue-eyed heart throb that the tween population of America fell in love with is not the sweet gentle guy you all know and love. When asked a series of questions, he responded off-handishly, which was surprising. He was in general a rude person.'

Stan's jaw dropped, "Me?! Cartman's the rude one! I barely said three words to the lady."

"Aye!"

Kyle frowned and kept on reading, "Unfortunately, the rest of the band were just as rude as their rudest member. During the interview that OK! Magazine did with them, they seemed dazed and slightly out of it. Perhaps they had taken drugs before stepping into our office?"

Wendy looked like she wanted to march down to the interviewer's house and murder her, "How dare she? You guys were courteous and you don't ever take drugs. I think we should bring your lawyer into this!"

"Kenny takes drugs."

"As if weed really counts as _drugs_, Cartman! Besides, I haven't gotten high for a few days."

"I got the worst review, you guys! This is so unfair!"

"C'mon Wendy, we're going to sue this lady for slander."

"You said it!"

- - -

A/N: That's another part down. :3 My mind kind of went blank around the end, so I just threw in some random dialogue. I like writing Wendy. Maybe the next drabble will have some Stan/Wendy. I like Stan/Kyle, but it doesn't really fit into the whole band thing.

Or maybe Stan and Kahl will have a kinky affair? It depends on whether I can make that IC. I doubt I can.

Also, those words at the beginning are lyrics to either a song I've written myself, or a song I can picture Moop singing. I don't write lyrics, so go easy on meh.

Don't forget to review! ;3

_About a Girl - The Academy is..._


	3. Fangirls

_There's only one thing_

_to do,_

_three words_

_for you._

_I love you._

- - -

Kyle Broflovski panted and looked behind his shoulder, his hat was falling off and sweat was dripping off his face. His friends were in the same condition as he was, Cartman looked like he was just about ready to pass out, Kenny's parka had come undone and his long blond hair was flying everywhere.

Stan, who had parts of his shirt ripped off, said, "Guys, we're just going to have to make a break for it." He also looked behind his shoulder. The girls were nowhere in sight.

Cartman was pissed off, he panted out, "This was your fucking idea, Kenny. 'Oh, let's go for a walk, we don't need security or even a car. Fresh air is so cool.' If we come out of this alive I'm going to kick you square in the nuts."

Kyle said, "Wait, we don't have to run. I have a better idea. Come over here, Cartman." The taller boy looked puzzled, but then slowly crawled over to Kyle's spot. "Yeah?" he said.

Kyle reached over from his place hiding behind the dumpster and smacked Cartman across the face, which knocked him out. Stan gaped and Kenny said, "Damn, you're strong, dude. But why did you do that?"

Kyle grinned and said, "So now I can do _this._"

He grabbed unto Cartman's legs and dragged all 220lbs of him unto the sidewalk, then quickly ran back to his hiding space behind the dumpster. He squealed in a falsetto voice, "Oh my God! Here's one of them!"

The heard the stomp of dozens of girls, from age 3 to age 60 running and screaming, One of them cried out, "Oh my God, it's Eric!" which sent the girls into an even bigger frenzy. By now, Cartman was coming to. Though his vision was hazy, he could clearly see nearly fifty girls reaching for him. Before he knew it, they'd taken everything.

His piercings had been pulled out, most of his clothes had been ripped off and his iPod, which was brand new and had his name engraved on the back (courtesy of Apple Corp. for Moop selling a million copies of their album on iTunes) had been stolen.

He looked around for his friends and, obviously, they had slipped out during the confusion. There were still hounds of paparazzi and curious people snapping photos of him, but his friends were nowhere in sight. _I'm going to kill those sons of bitches, _he thought.

- - -

"Dude, that was the best!" Kenny guffawed, high fiving Stan. They had made it back to the tour bus, safe and sound, minus a few articles of clothing and their dignity. Kyle smiled, "You're welcome, guys." The tour bus was now driving off, leaving Manhattan and onward to Queens. Stan grinned, "Yeah, thanks man. "

Suddenly, a soaking wet, bleeding from both ears, half naked Eric Cartman was spotted running alongside the slowly moving van.

"Aye! You assholes! Let me in!" he shouted, jogging alongside the bus, which was quickly picking up speed.

The boys looked at each other and grinned. Kenny walked to front of the bus (bypassing Wendy who was snickering as she read what had happened on Perez Hilton's site) and said to the driver, "Step on it."

"You motherfucking cunts! Slow down and open the motherfucking door!"

Kyle looked out the back window and saw the paparazzi, hot on Cartman's heels. "God damn," he said, "That's going to be one hell of a road trip to Queens for the stupid fatass."

"Serves him right, fat asshole."

"Has anyone seen my other parka?"

- - -

A/N: This one was a bitch to write. I'm in kind of a hurry to upload it, so I'll come back and edit it later. Check back in a few hours for all the mistakes to be gone!

(EDIT: Yeps, changed everything around a bit. Finito. :3)

I hope Cartman makes it to the concert in time to sing. :)

They don't have to perform for a few days, so Cartman has some time to hitchhike. Hope he doesn't get mugged and gang raped by some minorities.

Review please!

_1, 2, 3, 4 - Plain White T's_


	4. Gay?

_I wake up every evening, with a big smile on my face  
And it never feels out of place._

_And your still probably working at a 9 to 5 pace  
I wonder how bad that tastes ._

_- - -_

Stan and Kyle looked up furiously at the video camera now video taping them at four o' clock in the fricking morning.

"Cartman, stop it." Stan said. He usually never got pissed, so when he did you got scared of him. But Cartman didn't falter. "Aw, am I interrupting you and Kyle's alone time? God, this is the best thing that's happened to me since Kyle nearly died."

Kyle got up out of his sitting position on the bed and said, "Cartman, you fat piece of shit, you better put down that fucking camera or I'll fucking murder you."

"Sticks and stones may-" Cartman started, but he was interrupted by the pissed off redhead, who at four in the morning was a grumpy mess of frizzy orange hair and freckles.

"These aren't just words, fatass. I will break your legs off, rip your eyes out of their sockets and feed them to you. Put the fucking camera down."

Stan looked ready to murder Cartman. He crawled out of the bed, and slowly approached Cartman. "What have we ever done to you, Cartman?"

Cartman rolled his eyes and stroked his chin thoughtfully, "Well let's see nyah. There was this one time when we were eight that you sent an embarrassing video of me to Bob Saget. "

Stan was crawling further to the fat boy, who had a shit eating grin on his face and Kenny's expensive video camera between his chubby little fingers. "That was a long time ago. Besides we said sorry."

Cartman frowned, "No you didn't."

Stan was as close as he could possibly get to Cartman without invading his personal space (and getting his ass handed to him). Kyle was sitting up on the bed with his head in his hands. _This cannot be happening_, he thought.

Stan said, "Just give me the camera, Cartman. What are you going to do with that video anyway? Let's say me and Kyle don't murder you. Then what."

Cartman grinned and said, "I'll sell it to Perez Hilton, that's what."

Kyle piped up from his place on the bed, "What if it ruins our careers, fatass? You and Kenny can't have a band by yourself."

Cartman frowned again, he hadn't thought of that.

Seeing the expression on Cartman's face when Kyle voiced that little piece of logic, Stan realized that they might be getting through to him. "Alright, now give me the camera. And maybe we won't kill you."

"Screw you pussies. I'm going to sell this video tape if it kills me.."

Kyle growled, "You mean if we kill you!"

Kenny jerked awake with a start. He looked around and saw the rest of his bandmembers standing around in the sleeping area on the tour bus he usually slept in. "Hey, is this an intervention or something?"

Stan looked over and said, "No, Ken. Though you need one."

Kyle said, "Cartman has video of us sleeping together and he's threatening to sell it to the press." With that, Kenny's eyes widened.

He said, "Dude, you two are gay?!" Kyle and Stan simultaneously rolled their eyes. "No, r-tard. You know we're not." Stan said. "Yeah," Kyle agreed, "I meant how we sleep together. In the literal sense, stupid."

Kenny grinned suddenly, "Dude, Eric, are you using my video camera?"

Cartman looked sheepish and nervous, "Yeah. Why?"

"There's no tape in it. So basically you have zero evidence." Kenny said.

Stan and Kyle smiled and said simultaneously, "Thank God." Cartman looked furious. "God damnit I am so pissed off right nyah. You guys tricked me."

"Come here fatass. Ever been sodomized with a video camera?"

"No..."

"Well, they always say you should never hesitate to try new things."

- - -

A/N: ARGH! I don't like this one at all. But I really have no time today to write something worthwhile reading.

I promise I'll rewrite it later and I'll take this one down and put up the new one. The reason I'm uploading it is because I won't be able to write more until late tonight, around 2, which is tomorrow.

EDIT: Aiiiii, no time to rewrite completely. I just fixed the typos a bit.

Don't review too harshly. I don't like it either.

; - ;

_  
Gives You Hell - All American Rejects_


	5. Change

_Fiona says she's out shopping.  
But she's under me and I'm not stopping._

_Fiona's got him on the phone, _

_and she's trying not to moan.  
It's a three-way call and he knows nothing!_

_- - -  
_

Wendy smiled and looked around the hotel room she currently had for herself. Her whole life, she'd been stuck in a podunk, white trash, shitty little town. She was living a completely different life to when she was in South Park.

But just look at her now. Traveling the world with number one teen dream band sensation, Moop, living out of five star hotel rooms and eating only the finest foods life has to offer. And, of course, getting treated like a celebrity wherever she went.

She remembered when she was young, around eight or nine, when she and Stan first started going out. They were really too small to really understand what being in a relationship meant, but she knew she was in love with him. And now, sixteen years and a few breakups later, they were going strong.

Stan was an A-list celebrity and she was his eye candy for red carpets and award shows. Yes sir, she was living the good life.

Wendy lay back down on her queen sized bed as she waited for the boys to get ready to go out for dinner. A little relaxation time out of their hectic tour schedule.

Unlike most girls, she didn't take forever to get ready. But, like most celebrities, the boys _did_ take forever to get ready.

_Doesn't get any more different than life in a small mountain town than this,_ she thought, dozing off.

Suddenly, her bedroom door burst open. She sat up with a start, but calmed down when she saw Stan and Cartman. "What the heck? How did you guys get in here?"

Stan grinned shyly, "Wendy, you gave me a key, remember?" Wendy smiled. She did remember giving Stan a key, in case he wanted to sneak up to her room to play doctor like they used to when they were young.

Cartman looked pissed off, "Wendeh, I have had enough of this bullshit," he said, "Stan and Kahl have been plotting to get me kicked out of the band for weeks now."

"What the fuck, fatass? Where did you get that idea from?"

"Well, let's see, how about the fact that you and Kahl switched my hair gel with fucking _glue._"

Kenny and Kyle walked in. "Wendy, we're re-" Kenny started, but seeing his three friends gathered in the room he said, "Whoa, a threesome you guys? I didn't think you had it in you, Wendy."

Wendy smacked his upside the head and looked at Kyle. "Kyle, did you and Stan play a prank on Cartman?"

"Motherfucking _yes_ they did!"

"Shut the fuck up, fatass!"

"Kenny, sick! I'd never share Wendy with that stupid butt pirate."

"Actually, it was me that switched your hair gel, Cartman."

Wendy sighed and put her head in her hands. She thought, _Then again, some things never change._

- - -

A/N: I like writing Wendy a lot. :3 The reason this one took so long is because I wanted to write it just after watching the new epsiode, so I'd have kind of inspiration. Took me 30 minutes to write this.

Did anybody else just watch 'The Coon'? LMFAO. "Careful, (insert washed up move star here) there's superhumans fighting right next to you!" And I loved the part with Cartman confronting Mysterion. AND all the references to previous episodes. I think there were more in this episode than any other. Maybe it's just me. I love the airport Hilton guy. :)

Who do you think is Mysterion? I bet it's Kyle. Only he would dress up like a fag. Probably to get Stan to notice him.

Review please!

_Scottie Doesn't Know - Lustra_


	6. Autographs

_No, we're not gonna work this out tonight.  
No, we're not gonna make this right.  
So I'll give a kiss and say goodbye.  
'Cause we're not gonna work this out,  
Tonight._

- - -

"God, I'm so fucking bored," Cartman muttered to himself, as he handed the photo of the band with his signature to the preteen girl that was practically pissing herself with excitement. "Eric, I love your music and-" she started but was cut off by a loud, "Next." from the asshole celebrity himself. She frowned and walked off.

The band was currently doing an autograph signing backstage, after the concert they had just performed in front of thousands of screaming fans in Queens, New York. Cartman was tired as hell after singing and jumping around on stage with the three assholes who did nothing but back up vocals and play lame-ass instruments. "This is bullshit!" he'd said. "Why do I have to do all the work?" he'd said. But of course, they never listened to him, the brains of the group.

As he finished signing some girls stomach, he realized he should be a bit turned on by that. But he was just so goddamn tired. Life on the road can get to you like that.

He looked over to see how Stan, Kyle and Kenny were fairing. Stan and Kyle were sharing a booth and Kenny was on his own, just like Cartman. Kenny was flirting with all the girls that walked up to him and Stan and Kyle were joking and generally being friendly, nice people to their fans.

$50 for backstage passes, $5 per autograph per band member. If you want multiple autographs, you get back in line. A really easy way to fill their pockets, right? Wrong. Unfortunately, all the proceeds from the autograph signings went to a stupid "Save the Whales!" campaign. Which is bullshit, because all whales ever do is swallow sailors and pollute the environment by crapping gigantic turds into the ocean. Life is so unfair...

Cartman realized he'd been spacing out when the girl in front of him giggled and waved a hand in front of his face. He sighed deeply and said irritatedly, "Where do you want it?" She held out a picture of him and Kenny hugging from their interview with OK! Magazine two weeks ago. He quickly scribbled his name and shouted out, "Next!"

He looked behind the girl that walked up to him and saw that their had to be at least a hundred girls behind this one. He sighed frustratedly and said to himself, "When does it motherfucking end..." Signing his name on the picture quickly he looked over at the guys again, and saw that they were as chirpy as ever.

Then he noticed something.

Stan and Kyle's lines were ridiculously huge, while Kenny's was even bigger. There had to have been at least three hundred people combined in both those lines! He sat up out of his chair abruptly, startling the girl in front of him. He shouted out to the two lines next to his, "Hey, you stupid skanks. Why the fuck are you all crowding around those assholes? I'm way cooler than them!"

Stan, Kyle and Kenny deadpanned. They sighed. This happens at every autograph signing they always do, and Cartman always forgets nobody likes him.

Kyle shouted back, "That's why, Cartman. Because you call our fans skanks and get angry for no reason all the time." There was a lot of nodded heads and a chorus of 'yeah' from most of the people waiting in line.

"Hey, fuck you, you stupid heeb!"

Stan and the other two boys simultaneously rolled their eyes. It was a miracle that Cartman hadn't gotten called out by the press for his racial slurs and insults he was so often seen spouting. Stan pinched to bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger and said, "Just sit down, Cartman. You're embarrassing yourself."

"That's it! Screw you guys, I'm going home."

"You can't, shit for brains. You're legally obligated to these signings."

"Yeah, lardbutt. Sit down."

"Goddamnit, I am so pissed off!

Cartman reluctantly sat back down and sighed irritatedly. The girl in front of him cautiously said, "Um, I've been here for a while. Can I please-" Cartman interrupted her, "Shut up, ho. Where do you want it?"

And so it continued for the next two hours. After the last of the girls had scattered when the maximun signing time was up, they packed up and Cartman went up to his hotel room, ready to crash and repeat it the next day and the next, until they finally were finished with this stupid tour.

- - -

A/N: Aiiiii, I barely made the update mark! I uploaded this at 11:30PM.

Not much to say about this chapter.

It was kind of boring to write.

D;

Review, pretty please? I seem to be only getting two reviews per chapter. WHICH IS BULLSHIT. D:

If I'm going to keep updating daily, you guys have to review daily. :(

So review. Srsleh. NOW.

_Tonight - The Jonas Brothers_


	7. Eric Cartman: Revealed!

_They gonna clean up your looks  
with all the lies in the books  
to make a citizen out of you.  
Because they sleep with a gun  
and keep an eye on you son  
so they can watch all the things you do._

- - -

The tall brunette girl looked shyly at the tallest Moop member and said, "I was wondering... since you're the lead singer, how come you don't always have spreads in magazines ands stuff?"

Cartman blinked and then coughed, "Well, you see, I-" Kyle interrupted him, "Because nobody cares enough about him to read a magazine article on him.

Cartman saw red, "Shut the fuck up, Jew! You don't know anything!"

It was a Tuesday and the boys had to spend their entire free day with some girl who had won a contest. Lame. The girl's interest seemed to be piked and she said, "Why do you guys pick on him so much?"

Stan smiled and said, "Well, Diane, it all started when we were in preschool..."

- - -

The next day, headlines all over the world read,

_ERIC CARTMAN!_

_NAZI, RACIST AND MURDERER?_

_What you didn't know about America's leading man!_

Cartman put his heads in his hands and mumbled, "Aw, weak..."

Kyle smirked, "Serves you right, fatass."

- - -

A/N: PLEASE READ!!!

I was super busy today and couldn't find time to sit down and properly write anything. PLEASE FORGIVE ME!

It's now 11:30PM and I just finished writing this.

Please don't review_ too_ harshly.

Better something than nothing right?

I'm proud of myself for updating every day for a week, but I'm still scared of huge commitments. Argh.

Review. :3

_Teenagers - My Chemical Romace_


	8. Happy Birthday!

_I like the way you, put your hands up in the air,  
I like the way you, shake your hair,  
I like the way you, like to touch,  
I like the way you, stare so much,  
but most of all....  
Yeah, most of all...  
_

_- - -_

"I like the way you move!" sang Cartman, flicking his head back, trying to get his sweaty bangs out of his face. Panting, he whispered as the music faded out to Kyle , who was positioned closest to him, "God, I hate that song. Stan is such a shit songwriter." Kyle rolled his eyes and didn't respond. Stan, who had overheard, said, "This coming from the fucking doofus who thinks 'eye' is spelt with a capital 'I', shut the fuck up."

The crowd cheered and the band took their routine bow, and Kyle took the mic, "Thanks for coming you guys! Are you ready?" he said and the crowed cheered. Him, Stan and Kenny all shared knowing smiles. Cartman looked confused, "Dude," he whispered to Kyle, "That was our last song."

Kyle just smiled and said, "Alright guys, like we rehearsed before the show. One, two..."

"Happy birthday to you!" the crowd of thousands of people sang. Today was Cartman's birthday, and since it was a tour date, they had to perform. But rather than do nothing, they had talked to the crowd before Cartman came on to sing.

"Happy birthday, dear Cartman! Happy birthday to you!" they finished.

Cartman was blushing, and he had a rare genuine smile on his face. Not the kind of smile they were used to seeing, like when somebody was in pain or he had just turned someone's parents into chili. No, it was the kind of smile you get when your best friends surprise you with a serenade of 'Happy Birthday' courtesy of thousands of your fans.

When they had finished, Stan, Kyle and Kenny smiled and chorused, "Happy birthday, Cartman!" Stan's grin was the widest, all his previous agitation at Cartman vanished when he saw Cartman smiling. He had been the one who had thought of surprising Cartman on his birthday.

Cartman grinned and said, "Thanks guys, but I was expecting a more expensive present, if you know what I mean."

The crowd laughed and the guys rolled their eyes.

"We're partying hard tonight and you're not paying a dime. Be grateful, fatass." said Kenny. Stan said into the mic, "Guess what guys, everyone with backstage passes is invited to party with us at Club Zydeco tonight. Refer to our publicist, Wendy, for directions."

"Goodnight everyone!" the guys chorused, taking another bow and finally exiting the stage area to the sound of cheers and a few 'Happy Birthday, Cartman!'s

- - -

It was three in the morning, and the boys were all suitably drunk. They had just left the club they went to after the show, and even the usually uptight Kyle was on the verge of throwing up all over his shoes. As Kyle was holding a nearly passed out Cartman upright and Stan and Kenny were giggling about nothing in particular, the paparazzi's camera flashes were blinding Wendy. She cried out, "Hey, could you guys let up a little bit?"

Most of the annoying cameramen grinned and one piped up, "Sorry, Ms. Testaburger. Business as usual." She sighed and opened the car door.

As she sat down, Cartman passed out. Wendy rolled her eyes as Stan was trying to feel her up. Normally, she would have let him. But he reeked of alcohol and probably had no idea where he was.

Cartman was passed out on Kyle's lap, and Kenny was giggling and drawing a unibrow on him. Crowds of paparazzi followed the limo as pulled out the parking lot.

"Stan stop." Wendy said, "Your friends are right there."

Stan grinned and said, his words slurred, "Cartman's passed out, Kenny isn't paying any attention to us."

"What about Kyle?" she said, agitation clearly evident in her voice. Normally, she would have given the boys hell for going out and getting ridiculously drunk, but since today was a special occasion she made an exception. She knew that the stunt they had pulled earlier tonight with Cartman and his birthday song was cute, so it was basically a free pass out of the media's bad graces.

Stan and Wendy looked over at Kyle, who hiccuped and promptly threw up into a garbage can, which was conveniently located next to him. Kyle looked even more out of it than Stan. He hiccuped and then passed out on top of Cartman. Kenny was having a field day drawing naughty words and special body parts on his unconscious bandmates' faces.

Wendy gave Stan the okay to continue, but Stan had already passed out, his head located uncomfortably between Wendy's breasts.

She shoved him off and sighed, "I guess it's just you and me now, Ken." she looked at Cartman and Kyle who had 'penus' and 'vageyena' written on their foreheads.

Kenny was giggling, and didn't even notice his name being called. Suddenly, his face went green and he threw up into the same bin Kyle did, then promptly passed out.

Wendy growled and muttered to nobody in particular, "Happy birthday, fatass. Good luck with your hangover in the morning. There was still a way to go to their hotel, so she rolled over and closed her eyes. The limousine reeked of expensive cologne and vomit, never a good combination. But she drifted off into dreamland nonetheless.

- - -

A/N: I like this chapter, and I hope you do to. This one is for R.d, who asked me to write a longer one. Well, this is my longest one to date.

I really hope this makes up for the ridiculously short and crappy chapter before this one that I had the misfortune of writing. So enjoy!

And I know I'm a bit late for Cartman's birthday, but whatever.

I DO WHAT AH WANT.

Review, please! :P

_I Like the Way You Move – The Bodyrockers_


	9. Um, Privacy Please?

_Brainstorm, take me away from the norm  
I got to tell you something  
This phenomenon, I had to put it in a song  
And it goes like..._

_- - -_

Cartman rolled over in his bed and tried to block out the buzzing noises all around him. _Motherfucking bees in my motherfucking house eating all my motherfucking honey..._ he thought sleepily. The buzzing noises didn't stop, so he pulled the covers over his head and tried desperately to go back to sleep. Suddenly, there was a crash and he sat up quickly. He heard frantic mumbling that sounded like, "Oh fuck, you woke him up." and "Good going, Skeet."

As his eyes adjusted to the light, Cartman realized he wasn't in his house. He was stuck in a tour bus with a ginger Jew, a perverted pothead and two hippies. _Still_, he thought frustratedly. He rubbed his eyes sleepily and jumped down from his bunk on the tour bus he had grown to hate, right unto an expensive piece of machinery. He gave a cry of surprise and stepped back and bumped into Kenny's bunk below his, waking him.

"Motherfucker! Look what this fat lump of shit did to my camera!"

"Damn, that's going to cost him."

"As if he can't afford to buy back fifty of these cameras, Skeet."

_So that's what that buzzing noise was..._

Cartman and Kenny stared. There were three middle-aged men in the room that should only be occupied by only them. Two of the men were standing behind tall cameras and one of them was on the floor in front of Cartman's feet, picking up the pieces of what was apparently his camera. Cartman briefly wondered whether he should kick the man in front of him for waking him up or ask about his purpose of being there in the first place. He chose the latter.

"Excuse me, but who the fuck are you and what are you doing on my bus?" he asked, nothing in his voice suggesting he actually cared about the answer to that question and wasn't just going to have security kick them out. Kenny resisted the urge to scoff when Cartman referred to their bus as his own. He too was wondering what in the world was going on.

The men behind the cameras stayed quiet, but the one on the floor said with some resentment towards the asker of the question, "We were sent here to film you guys' schedule for a day." The men behind the cameras nodded, but of course the giant cameras in front of their faces obstructed Cartman and Kenny from seeing them. Kenny cleared his throat and said, voice raspy from having now woken up, "Sent? By who?"

"By me." a voice piped up from the doorway. Everyone's heads and the cameras turned to look at the speaker. Wendy had pulled back the curtain that led to the sleeping room at the back of the bus and was leaning up against the wall. She smiled and said, "Sorry for not telling you about it earlier, boys. Due to popular demand, I deemed it financially and publicly beneficial to the band that we have a camera and sound crew come in and record your process of getting ready to go on stage."

Cartman and Kenny blinked in confusion. "Repeat that one more time," Cartman said, "Only this time in English, please."

Wendy rolled her eyes and said slowly, "Moop talks to cameras, Wendy makes money." Cartman and Kenny frowned.

_This is going to suck..._

- - -

"So, this is the living area," Stan was showing the two camera men around their tour bus while the others were showering, "Big leather couch, fridge. The works." He smiled and said, "Check this out." He pulled a lever on the side of the leather sofa that stretched to the back room and it opened up into a double bed with a side-table.

"Kyle and me usually sleep here. When Wendy isn't, like, in a different state, she comes on the bus with us and we sleep here." he grinned, "So Kyle ends up sleeping with either Cartman or Kenny in their bunks, which you saw this morning."

He walked to the front and pulled back a bright blue curtain, revealing a driving area equipped with, um, driving tools. "Dave's probably relaxing somewhere right now, but he drives us usually." Stan shrugged and said, "Well, that's basically the downstairs. I can hear Kyle calling, so I guess it's my turn to shower."

- - -

"What the fuck, can I change in piece you nosy fuckers?" Cartman shrieked, far more shrill than he would ever admit to when he was caught shirtless. He turned the man around, nearly knocking the camera out of his hand, and shoved him in the opposite direction. "Go bother Kenny."

- - -

Kenny had taken his parka off to be understood more clearly and was clad only in a pair of jeans.

"This is the upstairs. It doesn't have any more beds, which is fucking retarded, seeing as-" Kenny was saying, but was interrupted by one of the two men filming him doing a slashing motion across his neck and mouthing the words, 'no swearing'. Kenny blinked and started over, "Um, this is the upstairs. It should hold beds, but it has like computers and shit-" He was cut off again by the camera man doing the same motion across his neck.

He sighed and started over again. For the fifth time.

_I never noticed how hard it is for me to speak without cursing. Fuck._

- - -

"Everybody thinks backstage is all glamorous, but it's really just a maze of rooms and doorways." Kyle said.

"I have no idea where the guys went. This is my dressing room. See it has 'Kyle' written on the front." Kyle was saying. He turned the doorknob on his room to find two hairstylists already there, waiting to tame the red mop on his head into something reasonable to look at.

"We come and go to to these concert arenas all the time, so usually it takes a while for us to find our way around." he was saying as he sat down. "But I did it pretty easy, huh?" He grinned and went silent, except for the occasional grunts of pain as the stylists tugged combs through his hair.

- - -

They were all grinning and sweating as they trudged off stage. As they made their way back to the tour bus, they paused at the director's thumbs up and said simultaneously, "This is Moop, thanks for watching a day in our lives!" With that said, they waved and walked out of the camera's viewing range, literally two feet away from the man whose camera Cartman had broken.

As soon as the first cameraman yelled, "Cut!" the grins completely vanished from their faces. Their usual squabbling resumed as if they hadn't just been draping their arms across each others shoulders and smiling.

"You shouldn't have drank so much last night, Cartman. You sounded awful."

"Well, maybe I would sing better if you would write better songs!"

"I hope that Skeet guy didn't find my porn stash when he was filming solo shots of my room..."

"I'm so fucking tired. Why does anybody care what we do, anyway? All our days are the fucking same."

- - -

READ THIS NOW MOTHERFUCKERS.

A/N: I'm back!!! Didcha miss me??? I missed posting a WHOLE LOT!!!

Alright, enough with welcome backs. Um, to myself.

I still don't have my new laptop, I'm updating from my Mum's computer. D;

Can't download OpenOffice, so I write using Buzzword, online! It's bitching, bitches.

Don't get your hopes up too high, because typing all that I've been writing out is going to take a while. So I'll update maybe 3 or 4 every day until I've finished all the days I missed, then regular updates will resume! :)

Another thing I have to address is the people who have been telling me Cartman is too fat to be lead singer. Hello, he was the singer in Moop ITS! Nevermind the fact that he sounded like a pair of Vietnamese women getting their organs pulled out through a hook. Or something like that. Besides, there have been plenty of fat lead singers of bands that have went on to do great things.

Fall Out Boy, anyone?

_Chyah, I went thar._

;P

If anyone cares, go to saphirewallis . tk, for my Facebook page.

If you add me, say your from FFNet.

_Amber - 311_


	10. Cartman's Sailing Away

_Swing, swing, swing  
From the tangles of  
My heart is crushed by a former love  
Can you help me find a way  
To carry on again?_

- - -

Moop had just gotten on the stage, lights were going off and the crowd was cheering. Wasting no time, Stan started up his guitar and started riffing their first song.

After a while, Stan, still playing, turned to look at Kyle expectantly. But he was just standing there, bass guitar in hand, smiling foolishly. Cartman hissed away from the mic, "Play, you stupid Jew." Kyle suddenly walked forward from his place next to Stan and pushed Cartman aside, receiving a loud, "Ay!" from the fat singer. He grabbed the mic and said into it, "Is everyone excited tonight?"

The crowd cheered nervously. This wasn't what they had expected, but once Moop was prancing around on stage psinging, they didn't care much. Kyle said, "That's good, because I have a little surprise for you all." that received more cheers, "I'm going to sing a little song for you tonight!"

The noise from the crowd was deafening, and Kenny had to cover his ears to make sure he didn't bleed to death from brain damage. Again.

Cartman looked pissed off. He turned to Kyle and said, "I'm the singer, retard. Did you forget?" Kyle just kept smiling that big mysterious grin he had been wearing since Cartman had taken it upon himself to hide his guitar and leave clues around the backstage area, forcing Kyle to look for it.

Cartman turned to Stan this time and said, "First he thinks he can sing Happy Birthday to me and now this shit?! Someone needs to put that fucking Jew in his place!" Kyle had now started strumming his guitar to a tune very familiar to Cartman.

Cartman went pale. His mind was a mesh of the words _fuck_ and _nonononononono_.

"You see," Kyle was saying, still strumming along, "Cartman thinks it's funny to force people to do things they don't want to do. So I'm going to give him a taste of his own medicine."

Kenny and Stan caught on. Kenny started a simple kick snare beat and Stan accompanied Kyle's guitar with his own. Cartman would have walked right off stage if it weren't for Wendy who was watching at the left exit, a bemused smile on her face. He knew that if he bailed, Wendy would kick his ass and leave his balls hanging out to dry on the sunroof of her purple minivan. Plus, there was a little thing called a contract that he was legally bound to. He had to at least stand on stage, or else he would lose out on tens of thousands of dollars.

His eyes were clenched shut and he was oh so very close to wringing his hands. Yes, wringing his hands. But he still had _some_ pride left in him! Although the pride he had left looked like it was about to up and vanish when Kyle took the mic in his hand and started singing a familiar song.

_"I'm sailing away! Set an open course for the virgin sea."_

Kyle stopped singing, the music stopped and the audience was silent. Everything was quiet. It seemed that Kyle's plan had failed until...

Cartman twitched. Then twitched again.

_"I'vegottobefreefreetofacethelifethat'saheadofmeonboardI'mthecaptainsoclimbaboard!"_

The three sane members of Moop watched the violently spasming and singing man and wondered if they had gone too far.

_"We'llsearchfortomorrowoneveryshoreandI'lltryohLordI'lltrytocarryon."_

There were a few muffled giggles from the crowd. Stan, Kyle and Kenny all had small smiles on their faces as they watched the blue-eyed brunet clench his eyes shut tight and sing off pitch.

_"IlooktotheseareflectionsinthewavessparkmymemorysomehappysomesadIthinkofchildhoodfriendsandthedreamswehadwelivehappilyforeversothestorygoesbutsomehowwemissedoutonthat potofgoldbutwe'lltrybestthatwecantocarryon."_

"Damn, that was a big one." Stan whispered to no one in particular. Kenny and Kyle nodded their heads. They were full out of grinning now and the audience was once again cheering. Cartman was completely oblivious as he continued with his weird tick.

_"Agatheringofangelsappearedabovemyheadtheysangtomethissongofhopeandthisiswhatthey-"_

Cartman hit the floor of the stage with a thud. The audience paid no mind, thoroughly entertained. Stan, Kyle and Kenny were doubled over laughing. Kyle saw Cartman still moving his lips, though he couldn't hear him now. _The fat shithead probably forgot to breathe, _he thought. He got on his knees, still smirking, and said, "What's that, fatass? Ready to apologize?"

_"Comesailawaywithmecomesailawaycomesailaway you guys seriousleh."_

Cartman finished the song and promptly passed out. The crowd was going wild, screaming a loud, shrill mass of noise that sounded vaguely like KYLESTANKENNYERICOHMYGODYAY!!! to Kyle's hearing.

Kyle prodded Cartman with one long finger and said, "Hm, he's out cold." Stan and Kenny grinned and started playing again.

"That was kickass, Kyle!"

"You're a fucking genius, man! These girls are ripping off their clothes for us!"

Kyle grinned.

_Take that, fatass._

- - -

A/N: Srsly, my author's notes are important. I hope you guys read them. For all you normal non-fanatical South Park fans, Cartman has a tick that forces him to finish the song Come Sail Away by Styx if somebody starts it. It's from episode 201, Cartman's Mom is Still a Dirty Slut.

I think I might be a bit over my head with this, so if any of you guys have anything you want me to put in the story PM me or leave your ideas in a review. I'm seriously. I take you all super serial.

Even though this one was short, this is one of my favourites.

I was in the middle of writing my favourite drabble I've ever written, involving the boys getting arrested for Cartman's antics against a police officer. But my old laptop conked out and I never got to save it, much less upload it. Maybe one day I'll write it over.

Please review!

_Swing, Swing, Swing - All American Rejects_


	11. Meredith Viera Sucks Ass

_X's on the back of your hands,  
Wash them in the bathroom to drink like the bands.  
And your setlist,  
You stole off the stage,  
Had red and purple lipstick all over the page._

_- - -  
_

Cue lights.

Cue Camera.

Action!

The frown Meredith Viera had been wearing because Cartman called her a fake bitch with dried up ovaries immediately snapped into a smile when the camera started rolling. The studio audience stood up and clapped as she sat down, pretending that she hadn't been sitting the whole time.

"Hello, and welcome to 'How Much Do You Know?' Celebrity Edition!" she said directly into the camera in front of her, the same fake smile of her face. She opened her mouth again and gestured to the Moop boys as she called out first part of the competitors names.

"I'm sure you all know them well!" cheers and applause "But for all of you who've been living under a rock the past few years, I'll introduce them."

laughter

Camera pan to Kyle. "Kyle Broflovski!" applause

Stan. "Stan Marsh!"

Kenny and Cartman. "Kenny McCormick and of course, Eric Cartman!"

The three boys whose names were called first grinned shyly and waved, but Cartman was smiling his most pleasant smile and sitting up straight for once.

_God damn fatass, he's faker than Meredith Viera when there are cameras around, _Kyle thought bitterly as Cartman conversed pleasantly with Ms. Viera as if he hadn't insulted her two minutes earlier.

"Before I read the rules of the game, let's introduce our opposing team."

Four boys around Moop's age walked from backstage to behind the table opposite Moop. Meredith Viera was in a chair in the middle of them both, with the audience circling them all.

"Joe Trohman, Andy Hurley, Patrick Stump, and of course, Pete Wentz!"

A ridiculous amount of applause and cheers.

Cartman frowned and hissed to Stan, "What the fuck, we only got a crappy little golf clap." Stan, still smiling, hissed back, "No we didn't, fatass. Shut up."

Meredith Viera spinned around in her chair so she was facing the leftermost audience and said, "Well guys, let me read the rules for the many who haven't watched before."

"We have our first team and their Outsider and the Insider. They are the people who have to answer ten questions each about each other before their team can advance to Round 2. After that, the team, or in this case band, will be paired off and will be asked questions about each other. The person with the most points in the end of the game wins the cash prinze, one-hundred dollars!"

applause

She smiled at both teams and said, "Well, let's let Moop introduce their Outsider and pick their Insider. Stan spoke up, "I'm the Insider and the Outsider is my girlfriend, Wendy."

Wendy Testaburger walked on the set and sat down in the empty chair next to Stan. She smiled at him and grabbed his hand in hers.

"How about you, Fall Out Boy?"

Pete Wentz said, "I'm the Insider and the Outsider is my wife, Ashlee.

- - -

The rest of the evening went something like this;

_"Stan who is Kyle's most trusted person?"_

_Stan_

_dingdingding_

_"Stan, when is Wendy's birthday?"_

_Um..._

_buzz_

_"Stan, what is Kyle's favourite movie?"_

_Slumdog Millionaire_

_dingdingding_

_"Stan, what is Wendy's favourite drink?:_

_Um..._

Until it was Cartman and Kenny's turn, who eventually won the game through cheating. Not that anyone could _prove_ they cheated.

- - -

The day ended with Stan and Wendy macking furiously in the limousine and the rest of Moop looking on uncomfortably. Well, Kyle and Cartman anyway. Kenny looked delighted.

Wendy, not relinquishing her lip lock with Stan, climbed unto Stan's lap. Just as Kyle started cleaning his glasses nervously, Cartman buried his head in his hands and Kenny fished around for a camera, Wendy broke away from the kiss. She leaned down next to his ear and whispered, "We're about to get a whole lot closer, Stan."

Stan grinned until she started turned her back to him and fished around in her handbag for her glasses. Putting them on her face, she said, "My name is Wendy Maria Testaburger and I was born on October the 13th, the same year as you. My favourite color is purple, and my favourite food grapes. I am a women's rights activist and I am involved in many different causes, for example..."

- - -

A/N: Sorry all you diehard Moop fans, but writing out all the chapters I missed will kill me. x___x

So, one a day updates will resume. Maybe on of these days, I'll make it up to you. But for now, that's way too much stress.

I love you reviewers and readers, but honestly, 30+ chapters will be the death of me.

Also the ending of this was originally two pages long, full of Cartman and Kenny's questions, but then it got lost in cyberspace. Meaning I write everything out on an online word processor, and my internet went down.

_Don't Trust Me - 3OH!3_


	12. Kinky!

_Hey there Delilah  
Don't you worry about the distance  
I'm right there if you get lonely  
Give this song another listen  
Close your eyes_

- - -

"Kyle, you're drunk!" Cartman slurred, stumbling out of a bar, himself totally hammered. Kyle giggled. A little more femininely than he would ever admit to. Hanging all over Cartman, Kyle blubbered, "Dude, you're totally fucking right."

There were what seemed like hundreds camera around them, but the foolishly grinning pair paid no attention. They were used to it.

"Cartman! Cartman, fuck! Ah, I'm fucking wasted!" said Kyle. Cartman raised his eyebrows as Kyle hung all over him. As you probably guessed, Cartman was a moody drunk. He pushed Kyle away, sending him flying into one of the paparazzi. Kyle giggled and grabbed unto the flustered man. "Dance with me!" he said. And promptly started to dance what looked like a cracked out version of the hokey pokey.

Cartman, sloshed as he was, realized that Kyle was in terrible danger of looking foolish to the media. So, being the asshole that he was, he let him continue to make a fool of himself. Kyle spotted Cartman snickering to himself, so he walked over and grabbed his hand. Still twirling around, Kyle giggled.

And giggled.

And giggled.

Before he knew it, he and Cartman were on the floor, wrestling._ Dude, I'm fucking fucked up_, Kyle thought as Cartman punched him in his nose.

If someone were to get an aerial view of the location of Cartman and Kyle at this very moment, they would have seen two adult males wrestling, and about fifty adult males taking pictures. Of course, wrestling on the sidewalk was not something two adult males usually engaged in. Especially two adults who happened to be superstars.

Anyway, Kyle was giggling and rolling around on the ground with Cartman, plain and simple. It was a whirlwind tornado of red hair and camera flashes. Confusion was amass.

Then came the fateful moment that tossed the normally quiet Kyle into the spotlight. It wasn't really a big deal, just some drunken romping. But somehow, throughout punches and kicks being thrown around, Kyle found the space to lean forward and peck Cartman on the cheek.

He promptly passed out.

Startled, Cartman got up and got his bearings. He quietly wondered where everyone had went before he felt himself being pushed into a car and heard shrill yelling that sounded vaguely like Wendy. _It figures it would be that hippie bitch_, he thought before he blacked out.

- - -

"Ow, my head." Kyle said grumpily, rolling over to Stan's side of the bed. Briefly wondering wear Stan was, Kyle got up and went over to the medicine cabinet and took out some Novril. He was about to go back to bed when he was shoved to the ground. All of a sudden, he found himself with a bloody nose to go nicely with his hangover.

He looked up and realized that the blur of yellow pajamas and fury was the one and only fatass that was the bane of his existence. Cartman was panting and looked red with fury as he reached down with one fist and went to punch Kyle again before he was pulled back by Stan.

Cartman was struggling and looked ready to kill Kyle, who was still oblivious to Cartman's reason of being so furious. Cartman soon enlightened him with a magazine with a picture of himself and Kyle in a very dirty position, with him on the bottom with his legs in the air and Cartman with one hand in his hair, thrust in his face.

"Why does the entire _fucking_ world think we're having an affair, Kahl?!"

_Oh..._

- - -

A/N: AAAAH!!!!!

I'm such an asshole. I can't help but update minutes before my deadline.

Forgive me, Sera!

x_x

Any Stephen King fans got the Misery plug? ;3 The inner Kyman fan in me couldn't resist writing this.

Happy Easter~!

_Hey There Delilah - Plain White T's_


	13. Poor Eric

_Thought that everything was perfect  
Isn't that how it's supposed to be?  
Thought you thought that I was worth it  
Now I think a little differently_

- - -

Kyle, Kenny and Stan could hear hushed whispers coming from Cartman's dressing room. They were supposed to be on stage right now and the crowd was getting antsy.

"_He's inconsolable."_

"_What are we going to do?"_

"_What a diva."_

They had no idea what any of them were talking about. All they knew is that Cartman was locked in his dressing room and wouldn't come out.

"I hope his mom's okay." Kyle said anxiously. It had to be something big for Cartman to get so upset he wouldn't perform. Kyle had to call home every week like the Nice Jewish Boy he was and he hadn't heard any big news from his family, except that Ike was being harassed at school again. You'd think that having a rock star for a brother would make you immune from being teased because of your Canadian descent.

Well, you'd think wrong.

Anyway, Cartman was breaking shit and pissing people off, Stan was worried, Kyle was annoyed and Kenny had fallen asleep on his rolled up parka. They could barely hear their own thoughts over the sounds of Cartman yelling and the crowd chanting, "We want Moop!" over and over again.

Wendy went inside the room and stayed there for a few minutes.

"Cartman is such a frustrating piece of shit!" she said walking back out to the hallway they were gathered in. "He's refusing to perform." She shoved Kenny off of the bench and sat down. "I'm in so much shit." She said, ignoring a loud, "What the fuck, bitch?" from Kenny.

Stan Kyle and Kenny looked expectantly at Wendy. Kyle blinked and said, "Well?" Wendy looked at the three boys staring at her. "Well _what_?" she said.

"What the fuck is up with Cartman?" said Kenny. Wendy sighed and didn't respond for a few moments. She got up and opened the door to Cartman's room. Turning the boys she said,

"His cat died."

- - -

A/N: Oh my God, I killed Mr. Kitty!

…

I'm a bastard.

_Hate is a Strong Word (But I Really Really Really Don't Like You) - Plain White T's_


	14. OMFG MOOP ILU!

_In the end everyone ends up alone  
Losing her, the only one who's ever known_

- - -

The questions flooded in like bees to honey. They just kept coming and coming and coming. It was Wendy's fault, really, for insisting that the questions be unfiltered, except for group questions and specific questions. Surprise, surprise, most of the questions went to Stan and Kenny.

ladysvrn: kyle bxrs or briefs????

moopfan2349: omfg its moop!!!! moop r u coming 2 detroit??

pinkpinkpink3: eric!!!! omg i luv ur music whats ur favourite clr

And they just kept coming, five per-second. The boys the world had come to know as Moop were shellshocked. They knew they were famous and all, but _god damn_. Wendy giggled to herself and whispered, "Welcome to fandom, boys."

They were all in a private library room in Florida. Kyle, Stan, Cartman and Kenny were kind of surprised that they weren't holed up in a hotel room but Wendy figured they'd go to the last place someone, meaning paparazzi, would look. They were live on camera, waiting on the cue to start answering questions. Kenny was swiveling in his chair, Stan and Kyle were quietly chatting about nothing really and Cartman was staring blankly at the creen

Wendy gave the cue, which was a thinly veiled grin along with a thumbs up.

The boys each looked to their own side of the screen. Kyle answered the first one that caught his eye. They were supposed to read the questions out loud, so he did.

"Kyle, do you like cats or dogs?" Kyle blinked. _What a random question._ "Um, cats and dogs are both cool, but I kind of prefer cats."

At the mention of cats, Cartman tensed up, but only briefly. He read his question aloud next. "Eric, what do you prefer to be called, Cartman or Eric?"

Cartman was tired of hearing this question. It was the first thing that any interviewer asked him. He rolled his eyes and said, "Neither, leave me alone."

Stan picked one and read it out loud, "Stan, if you were to have..." Stan blinked then said, "Sick, dude!"

Kenny grinned and read the next part of the question for him, "...sex with one of your band-mates, who would it be? Me, of course!"

Cartman also smirked and said, "No dude, Stan only pounds Kyle's ass." Wendy slashed across her neck with her fingers, signaling 'no arguing'. The boys rolled their eyes. They were scheduled to do this for a total of three hours and barely ten minutes had gone by.

"Kenny, what color are your eyes?" blue

"Cartman, do you have to be so cynical?" maybe

"Kyle, are you dating anybody and is it true that you and Cartman are having an affair?" no and no

"Stan, what's your favourite color and why?" blue because, I don't know, just cause

And it went on an on until Cartman was asked why he was so prejudiced against Jews, but made out with them on public streets. He said, "Contract or no, screw you guys, I'm going home."

- - -

A/N: I hate to make excuses for myself, but I'm currently on vacation in America (the country most of you get to kind of live in every day) so forgive me if I'm kind of too busy doing something I get to do every few years to be writing thousand-word chapters.

In a simpler form, that sentence up there means STOP YOUR BITCHING! Stop PMing me about me 'not putting my all into it' please. You know who you are.

And to everybody who sent in ideas, as soon as I get back home in a few days, I'll write them. All, yes. ;3 One of these days I'll post up the transcript of this chat, because I really like this idea, but I couldn't write out the whole thing without my chapter word count looking awkward. So, I'll post it separately, maybe in a week or so. By writing this I can tell it will only take 30 minutes or so. xD

Review please!

PS: This is kind of irrelevant, but everybody who doesn't eat Dominoes should feel pretty damn lucky right about now. Everyone who _does_ should YouTube 'disgusting dominoes people' and consider switching to Pizza Hut.

_You Found Me - The Fray_


	15. Making Things Clear Pt 1

_..._

- - -

Four people living in a confined space for long periods of time is never a good idea. Especially if one of those people considers themselves a huge celebrity. Well, huger than they actually were.

It didn't help at all that this certain someone was three times the weight of everyone else residing on that bus.

A certain exaggeration, but talk to anybody on that bus and they will assure you he is a blue whale walking on land.

One of those boys who agreed that that other boy, let's call him Fatass, was a fatass was Jewish. He was the butt of many of Fatass' jokes. Because of his curly red hair and his religion he was often called Jewalker.

Only Fatass called him that, but whatever.

Fatass and Jewalker were not friends. Not by any stretch of the imagination did they like each other. Tolerate would not even be an appropriate term because of the explosive fights they often got into. They were more like… frienemies.

There are two more people that reside on that bus, but let's put our focus on Jewalker and Fatass.

Okay, we've established that:

1. They hate each other. Sort of.

2. Jewalker is a day-walker and a Jew.

3. Fatass is fat.

4. They're both in their own right egotistical.

Let's establish what they aren't.

Fatass and Jewalker are not:

1. Gay for each other. (Damn straight!)

2. Cat-obsessed. (no matter what you may have heard…)

3. Enemies. Well, not when cameras are around.

4. Good songwriters. (According to FAG, anyway. But we'll get to him later.)

They've both helped each other when the time calls for it, including arranging for thousands of people to sing happy birthday to the other and giving the other their kidney when the needed it. Well, that one wasn't voluntary.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say here is…

LEAVE THEM ALONE.

Honestly, the cameras are getting annoying, the rumors are annoying and they hate having their names plastered everywhere, except when it's for good publicity. _Some _people have some dignity.

But I'm not naming names or anything.

- - -

A/N: Wtf? Where did that come from? I'm just sitting down trying to think of something to write for tonight and my fingers just had a mind of their own.

Strange.

Now that I know where this is going, I'll upload the second part involving Flaming Ass Grabber (FAG) and Barbie's Bitch.

You know who I mean. ;)

_... - ...  
_


	16. Making Things Clear Pt 2

...

- - -

Where did we leave off?

Oh yes.

FAG.

Well, FAG is a pussy. His name would have been Pussy if the censor-gods weren't so handy with the whole smiting thing. He loves animals, throws up at the sight of blood and could not and would not ride rollercoasters. Yes, a pussy he definitely was. His girlfriend, let's call her Beauty, was sometimes even annoyed at his squeamishness. Worms, spiders, snakes, he was scared of most creepy crawlies.

Homosexual, no. Gay? Probably.

It's not fair to Beauty, who is probably the most headstrong, ungirly woman in the history of celebrity-girlfriends. But love is love, and she can't really help the fact that her boyfriend is one of the unmanliest men in the history of celebrities.

But, whatever.

If there was any person he was ridiculously close to on that same claustrophobia-provoking bus, it was Jewalker. But second to Jewalker, it was Barbie's Bitch. Seeing as the only other person who lived on the bus with them was an asshole. Fatass would is rude, egotistical, sociopathic, but an asshole? Well, you've got him there.

Let's get back to BB.

Barbie's Bitch has blond hair, blue eyes and the works. Trouble is, you can never see his face. That doesn't really stop the fangirls from finding ways, but whatever.

Let's just clear up some rumors about them both.

BB is perverted, but honestly, stop these rumors about him being a slut. He has no STD's and does no drugs. As far as I know.

FAG isn't hopelessly in love with Jewalker. Drop it. Seriously. I'm not kidding. End of story.

BB is a pothead, yes. But he's not a _complete _druggie. And he's not a crack-dealer.

FAG isn't gay and has a girlfriend. Just drop it.

Lately, there have been a few rumors circling about Moop in general. That they lipsynch, that they are rude and that they have poor attitudes about their fame.

Well, one of those up there are true. Which one? I'll never tell. I'll just say that rumors are rumors, and their integrity shouldn't come into question. Most of the time. I was able to attain some information on the boys from Moop themselves.

BB's favourite color is pink, because it's not what people would expect from him.

Jewalker loves green outfits, because they match his eyes. But it doesn't make him gay, so don't even start.

Fatass is not fat, go away.

And FAG loves his girlfriend more than anything, even if he knows his best friend better than he knows her.

So honestly?

Leave Moop alone.

- - -

A/N: Meh. I'm not winning any space cash for this one.

But review anyway. ;)

... - ...


	17. I Hate You Craig

_If I die and go to hell real soon,  
it will appear to me as this room.  
And for eternity I'd lay in bed  
in my boxers, half stoned,  
with the pillow under my head._

- - -

"Hey Craig, Tweek, long time no see!" Cartman said, the biggest smirk on his face.

It was the 2009 Rosebud Movie Awards after-party and Craig Tucker had just won an award for best leading male role in a movie. After high school, Moop had gotten signed by a record label and Craig and Tweek both gotten parts playing prison inmates who found love in dark times. Corny, yeah, but fame and fortune is fame and fortune.

Anyway, it wasn't a shock to anybody really that he won. He was _Craig Tucker_ after all. Smart, charming, handsome, funny and, oh yeah, gay.

"I see you two are still together. Isn't that cute?" Cartman went on, not taking the death glares from Craig as a hint to go away. You see, Craig and Cartman aren't exactly the best of friends. They sort of hate each other. Well, more like loathed each other.

Tweek twitched and excused himself with a loud, "Gah!" as he walked briskly away from his date, taking a seat next to Adam Sandler who immediately started chatting with him.

Cartman and Tweek were still glaring at each other, Cartman said, "How are you and Tweek these days?" Craig said from between clenched teeth, "Fine, thanks for asking."

Kyle put his head in his hands and sighed. Stan said, "C'mon, Kyle, we're so totally not getting into this." Wendy was dragging Kenny away from the Under-21's section, ie no alchohol, and yelling at him, creating quite a scene.

"You don't flirt with sixteen-year old girls Kenny, you'll get the band in trouble again!"

"Demi Lovato was so into me - ow, fuck, let go of my ear!"

Cartman and Craig had locked eyes with each other and weren't budging any time soon.

"I heard you got caught making out with Kyle on a sidewalk."

"I heard your latest movie was a flop."

"That's why I won an award for it, dumbshit."

"Don't call me dumbshit you fudge-packer, I'll kick your ass!"

"Fuck you, asshole!"

Cartman and Craig, both of them being the high school bullies that they were, immediately started to fight. Punches were thrown and teeth were almost knocked out. Almost.

The rest of Moop were a safe distance away from the fighting twosome.

"Craig is an asshole anway."

"Yeah, why should we help him?"

"It looks like Cartman is the one who needs help right about now."

Of course, the celebrities at the after-party immediately started panicking, some called 911 and Tweek had a nervous breakdown.

Kyle blinked and said loudly, "They'll stop when they get tired." Stan and Kenny nodded their agreement.

Of course, nobody paid any attention to them, so they quietly exited the party, Wendy in tow. Stan said, "When do you think Cartman will realize we left him?"

Wendy rolled her eyes and said, "When he gets thrown out of there for disorderly conduct."

"Oh."

"Do you even care, Stan?"

"Not really, no."

"Good riddance."

- - -

A/N: Yeah, I made up an awards show. You going to do something about it?

I thought so.

And so we finally see some other South Park characters and real life celebrities. I wrote out the next chapter already and it's my favourite. Here's a hint:

Leave Miley alone!

Review plztyvm.

_Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too - Say Anything_


	18. Miley!

_Empty lake, empty streets,  
the sun goes down alone.  
I'm driving by your house  
though I know that you not home..._

- - -

The paparazzi were having a field day with the group walking through the park today. The group consisted of,

Kyle Broflovski

Eric Cartman

Stan Marsh

Kenny McKormick

Brandi Cyrus

Miley Cyrus

"Who's idea was it to take the long way to your bus?" Cartman grumbled.

Their tour bus had broken down and was being fixed, so they were on their way to spend the hours before they had to get ready for Moop's concert on Miley's tour bus. She was opening for them for 10 shows. Yes, Moop is so famous that Miley Superstar Cyrus opens for them. Suck it.

"It was Kyle's, I'm pretty sure." Miley's older sister Brandi joked. Kenny laughed laughed uproariously as if she had just told the funniest joke ever and shifted places so that he was walking next to her. "So Brandi, what's it like being around a superstar 24/7?" Kenny asked, trying to make conversation so as to, um, loosen her up a bit.

Miley piped up, "We barely get to see each other, I'm really busy a lot. What's it like for _you_ guys being around each other literally 24/7?"

They would have chorused 'it sucks ass' but they were trying to refrain from cursing around the sixteen-year-old starlet. Well, Stan and Kyle were anyway.

"It sucks ass." Cartman and Kenny said simultaneously.

Bear in mind that most of the paparazzi were getting this on tape. They were yelling out things like,

"Kenny, give Brandi a kiss!"

"Stan, do something for once!"

"Miley, peace sign! Peace sign!"

"Kyle and Eric, let's get a shot of you two kissing again!"

Kyle wanted to kick the paparazzi who made that last remark in the balls, but he knew they were just trying to get a rise out of them so they could sell it to the press later, so he just fumed quietly and wished they would just let that drunken incident _go_. But Kenny, him being the lech he is, gave Brandi a quick kiss on the cheek, making her blush and swat him away playfully.

Miley grinned that toothy grin she was so famous for, "Brandi has a boyfriend! Brandi has a boyfriend!" she teased.

Finally they reached Miley's bus, which was a lot smaller than Moop's, and got in quickly. Miley was the last to climb in so she gave the paparazzi a quick peace sign for the magazine covers before she slid the door closed.

Kyle wasted no time in striking up a conversation with Miley's mom, Trish, who had been anticipating their arrival. Miley's little brother Braison showed Stan and Cartman where the video games were and Kenny flirted with Brandi.

Just a normal group of people doing things normal people do. Five of them just happen to be celebrities.

- - -

"Sixteen year old girls aren't supposed to cry over crap like this, Stan." Kyle said angrily. He ran a frustrated hand through his read mop of hair. "They're supposed to get upset over bad grades and cry over boys, not have their face plastered all over the place and get called horrible names by thousands of people."

Miley's mom was knocking on her dressing room door and said anxiously, "It's over now, Miles. It's okay, you can come out now."

'The Incident' had occurred when Miley had first taken the stage. Moop's fans were of an older age group and this was the first time Miley had performed at an adult arena. It had started quietly at first so nobody paid much attention to it. But by the time she had finished her second song, it was crystal clear to hear what they were chanting.

"Get the slut off the stage!"

The crowd obviously wasn't expecting the surprise opening act to be Miley Cyrus. And most adults have a hard time taking Disney stars seriously, anyway. It escalated from "Get the slut off the stage!" to "We want Moop!" to finally a loud chorus of boo's.

Miley, understandably, ran off stage and locked herself in her dressing room.

Kyle was still ranting, "We have to do something, Stan. I'm not performing for a crowd of assholes."

Cartman was frowning but didn't look to bothered by the situation. Stan and Kyle were really the only upset ones. Kenny was consoling Brandi.

Before anyone could protest or even open their mouths to say anything, Kyle had walked unto the stage and taken the recently vacated microphone in his hands. This was met with cheers until Kyle started to speak.

"Do any of you feel ashamed of what you just did?" he said angrily. There was absolute silence in the arena as Kyle put the rude crowd in it's place.

"A sixteen year old walked out here to try to entertain you and you all made her cry. Don't you think that's a little extreme to do to someone, humiliate them on live television?"

Most of the crowd didn't know the concert was being broadcasted live, so this was met with a few gasps.

"How could you call a young lady such terrible names?! We all make mistakes and we all try to live our lives the best that we can. She just happens to have her life thrust into the spotlight every fucking day."

There was no censoring, this being live TV and all, so all the people at home watching were also getting a colorful earful from the pissed off Jew on their television screen.

"All of you buy magazines when her face is on it just so you can read all the bad things that she did or that have happened to her. You don't feel pity, you just laugh! She's a teenager for fuck's sake! Where do most of you adults get off calling her a slut?"

Practically all of the crowd was shifting around nervously as they got a tonguelashing from the upset bass-player who could be very scary with his articulate way of speaking when he was angry.

Kyle walked off the stage for a second and came back on the stage with Miley, who had recently decided to come out of her stage-room. "I want you all to say apoligie to this young lady who tries her hardest to please her fans and live her life the best that she can."

There was a chorus of 'sorry' from all around the arena.

From backstage Miley's relatives looked on with a smile as Kyle hugged Miley and came backstage to let her go on with her act. He was still slightly upset as he sat down on the fold up chair in Miley's vacated dressing room. "It's unbelievable how far people will go to exploit kids like that."

"Damn right, you told them Kyle."

"See, Brandi, everything worked out."

"Where are the fucking nachos, I'm starving."

- - -

A/N: Arr, ye scurvy landlubbers! Leave that yonder poor lass alone for a while! Ye have yer privacy, give the wee lass hers!

P/

That's a pirate face, in case you didn't catch that.

P/

P/

P/

See, a frownyface with an eyepatch. Oh, and I learned the Hoedown Throwdown dance, courtesy of Miley's youtube video on her channel with her friend Mandy. and the song is really cute. I love the zig zag, step, glide, lean it left, clap three times part of the dance. It's good exercise, lulz.

Boom dee clap, review!

_The Boys of Summer - Don Henley_


	19. Stuck in a Jam

_I got my sight set on you  
and I'm ready to aim  
I've got a heart that will  
never be tamed._

- - -

"Cartman, your mom is the sweetest lady in the whole world. How the hell did she make such a fat turd like you, again?" Kyle said, chowing down on his third piece of apple pie Mrs. Cartman had FedEx-ed to them. Well, to Cartman.

The reason Stan and Kyle were even eating Cartman's pie without receiving bodily harm was that Cartman was currently handcuffed to to ceiling with a pair of Kenny's fuzzy dice handcuffs. It might have been sexy if Cartman wasn't sweating his ass off.

"You guys, I'm seriousleh. Untie me now or I will personally rip your balls off and feed them to you through a straw." Cartman was yelling. It was a million degrees outside and all the boys were shirtless. Except for Cartman, who was still wearing his tuxedo from last night.

"God damn, that's some good pie." Stan said, grinning. Truth was he didn't really like apple pie, but even the pussy of the century couldn't pass up a chance to piss off Eric Cartman royally.

"Kenny? Kenny put down my iPod right this second. Kenny, I'm not joking around right nyah. When I get down from myah I'll kick your teeth in!" Cartman was babbling. They probably weren't empty threats. Cartman had a mean right hook.

The boys weren't really sure what they were going to do when Cartman did break free, they preferred to just enjoy the moment.

Kyle feigned shock, "Oh, sorry Cartman! Did you want some? Oh wait, you're on a diet, you can't have any." Stan, Kyle and Kenny smirked, knowing the last thing Cartman would ever do, next to having sex with a Mexican, was go on a diet.

"I'm not on a motherfucking diet. Give me some fucking pie!" Cartman said, seeing absolutely red.

"Look at him, Stan. Getting all red."  
"He's like a little ripe tomato."  
"Oink, oink, tomato boy."

The rest of Moop that weren't handcuffed to a light bulb on the ceiling snickered and continued to eat pie and use Cartman's things without permission.

Suddenly, without making a single noise, Cartman yanked his hand that was handcuffed to the ceiling down hard and the light bulb socket was torn out.

The three boys sitting in a circle on the floor gulped and simultaneously said, "Oh, shit."

- - -

A/N: Alright, my first request-drabble! That one was from Kit10en.

She wanted me to right about a situation where Cartman is incapacitated and the boys take advantage of that. So, um, there it is! :D

I'll keep writing the requests, so keep sending them in. :3

_See You Again - Year One_


	20. Alone

"So..."

"So..."

Talk about awkward.

Cartman and Kyle were the only ones on the bus right now. They were parked in the parking lot of some motel while Kenny and Stan were in the hospital from food poisoning. They were supposed to be back in the morning, so Kyle and Cartman were alone for another six hours.

Cartman was lying down on Stan side of Kyle and Stan's bed, sprawled out playing his blue Nintendo DS, ignoring Kyle completely after that second 'so'.

Kyle was sitting on the fold out chair he had bought a few days ago, his arms folded. "Are you make conversation with me or continue to sit there like an antisocial retard?"

"I don't make conversation, Jew. You of all people should know that." Cartman said flatly, continuing to smash buttons. Kyle rolled his eyes and said, "Well we're in the middle of nowhere with nobody to drive us anywhere. We have to do something or I'll die of boredom."

"Well, I guess you're just going to have to die then. As you can see I'm busy at the moment." Cartman said, the only movement he made was the roll over on his stomach.

"I was thinking we could play cards or something. You know, be civil for a while." Kyle said nervously, wishing Stan was here so he could just talk to him instead. Most people don't know that Kyle has problems with being bored for more than an hour. Only Stan was privy to that kind of information about Kyle.

"You need to find yourself a Japanese man, Kyle." Cartman said nonchalantly.

Kyle blinked in confusion and said, "Excuse me?"

Cartman finally looked up from his game and said, "Japanese guys are really good at entertaining people. They make video games and shit. Plus their accents are funny to listen to."

Kyle rolled his eyes and said, "And you would know that, how? Exactly how many Japanese men have you met."

"Twelve."

"We live in a small town, where did you find twelve Japanese men."

"Lived, Jew. Past tense. My house is in Los Angeles."

"Answer the question, asshole."

"I met them on the internet and stuff."

"Cartman, you're such a loser."

"Don't call me a loser, bitch. I'll kick your ass."

Kyle rolled his eyes again and said, "This is why we never hang out, Cartman. We always end up arguing with you threatening to kick my ass on multiple occasions."

"And as you already guessed I'm very good at kicking people's asses. Three at a time."  
"That was a once in a life time situation. Stan and Kenny and I felt sorry for you so we went easy on you."

"Is that why Stan started to cry?"

"He wasn't crying, fatass. His eyes were watering because you're fat ass was sitting on him.  
"Fuck off, Jew. Go find yourself a Japanese guy to sob to."

"Fine, maybe I will!"

"Haha, do you realize what you just said?"

"Argh, I hate you so much."

- - -

A/N: I feel so much better, thanks for asking. Nawt.

This one is for Sarah who emailed me off of FFNet. She wanted Kyle and Cartman to be stuck on the bus by themselves for a while.

This is also for xDarkxPinkx who wanted a situation where Cartman was playing Nintendo DS.

Now tell me reviewers, do you want a Japanese guy?

I'm thinking of adopting one. I hear they make good goldfish.


	21. Fashion Sense

"Cartman, what are you wearing?"

Cartman blinked and looked down at himself. "A shirt and a pants, what does it look like?" he said cautiously, wary of Kenny's intentions.

Kenny rolled his eyes and said, "I can see that, retard. I meant why are you wearing an orange shirt with purple pants?"

Cartman looked at Kenny warily, then down at himself again and said, "What do you know about fashion? You wear the same parka every day."

"It's like my trademark, Cartman. Plus the girls will rip me to pieces if I take it off." Kenny said, somewhat cockily. "You, on the other hand, have no trademark. Except your fatness."

"Ay!"

"So you need to dress like a celebrity, not like a blind pirate." Kenny said, completely ignoring Cartman's sudden huffiness. He started to unbutton Cartman's shirt, making him blush furiously.

"What do you think you're doing poor boy?" Cartman said, jumping back from Kenny's unwelcome touches. Kenny rolled his eyes and said, "I'm helping you out. Stay still."

- - -

Thirty minutes later, Cartman walked out of the bus with Kenny. He met up with the rest of Moop at the restaurant they were supposed to be at. They got paid thousands of dollars for appearances.

Stan got up from the booth he and Kyle were sharing and said, "Where have you been- whoa. You look different, Cartman." Kyle grinned and wolf-whistled. "Looking good, fatass. Got a hot date?"

Cartman tugged at the silky grey shirt he had put on at Kenny's suggestion self-consciously. "Yeah, with your mom, Jew. Sit down and shut up."

They had all sat down already and were about to order their food when people started noticing exactly who had walked in. Stan and Kyle were still grinning when a small girl approached them and asked for an autograph.

She held up a napkin and the boys each took turns signing it. When it got to Cartman the girl said softly, "I like your shirt." and grabbed the napkin from Cartman's outstretched hand. She ran off, probably back to her parents table.

Stan and Kyle were laughing. Kenny was grinning, proud of his fashion skills. Stan said a bit too loudly for Cartman's taste, "Seems like you got yourself a girlfriend, fatass."

"I like your shirt!" Kyle said in a falsetto voice."

Cartman rolled his eyes and said sarcastically, "Hahaha, you guys are laugh riots. Can we order now? I'm fucking starving."

Cartman wasn't secretly pleased at all the attention he was getting.

Really.

Go away now.

- - -

A/N: For Posey, who requested I credit her as such. o.o

There are so many requests, you guys are proper eager. I'm working from the first requests I received, so it might take a while for me to get to yours.


	22. 50 Sentences 1

01 Ring

Wendy finished polishing the silver promise ring on her finger and wondered when Stan was going to properly propose.

02 Hero

When a small child came up to Kyle and told him that he was her hero Kyle had blushed and said that he didn't have a cape, only a bass guitar.

03 Memory

The band Moop carries a lot of memories for Stan, Kyle and Kenny, so it was natural that they were reluctant about letting Cartman join.

04 Box

Brown packages were often sent to the individual households of the Moop members and roughly around zero percent of them were opened for fear of insane fangirls jumping out of them.

05 Run

Stan and Kenny both ran track in high school and were experts at outrunning screaming teenage girls, but unfortunately Kyle and Cartman weren't so athletically talented.

06 Hurricane

Cartman was the only member of Moop that had a permanent residence in California and was always preparing for hurricanes and earthquakes so he used that as an excuse to buy twice as much food as he needed.

07 Wings

Kenny had a tattoo of snow white angel wings that meant a lot more to him than the regular tattoo on the ass.

08 Cold

When the boys of Moop had broken the heater in the tour bus Wendy had to teach them the lesson that nothing is free and snuggling with your band mates is more uncomfortable than being warm is comfortable.

09 Red

As a teenager Kyle had briefly dyed his hair black when he found out that redheads were less likely to make it in the music business but dyed it back the moment the word 'emo' came out of Cartman's mouth.

10 Drink

Cartman swore to never drink again when he saw pictures of himself half naked in the middle of the road with the headline 'Beached Whale', but that didn't last long, pretty soon he was back to stumbling out of bars and romping on sidewalks with Jews.

11 Midnight

The first time Moop had done a concert that started at exactly 12pm, Kyle had fallen asleep as soon as Stan's guitar solo started halfway through their second song, proving to the world once again that Jews are incapable of staying up late.

12 Temptation

When Cartman was told that the candy at Moop's first appearance at a celebrity Halloween party was only there as props for photos he hadn't taken into account the fact that he had absolutely no self control when it came to the tempting call of fudgy fudge bars.

13 View

Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman's first hotel stay together as a band had been in a hotel suite at the Hilton and they would never forget the view they had of California from the balcony as they read their first fan mail together.

14 Music

After the lights went out and the show was over, it was just four boys connecting with music in the beautiful way only artists know how.

15 Silk

Some people say that Kenny had a fetish for silk sheets, but Kenny argued that his whole life he'd been sleeping with no sheets at all and he was entitled to spend as much money as he wanted on his bedsheets.

16 Cover

Cartman had grown up singing Journey songs so it was no surprise that the first song Moop covered was 'Don't Stop Believing', a song Cartman loved.

17 Promise

Stan and Kyle had made a promise to each other back when superstardom was only a dream they shared that they would never stop being friends, and they haven't even come close to breaking it yet.

18 Dream

Cartman's dream used to be that he would have ten million dollars in the bank and now that he had twice that amount his new dream was that Moop would sell so many albums they would have to come up with something higher than double platinum.

19 Candle

Kyle had an irrational fear of candles rooted deep in his brain since childhood so the first thing he did when the power went out in his apartment was to call the first number on his cellphone, which happened to be Cartman.

20 Talent

The first time Kenny picked up drumsticks and had jokingly banged on the drum set in Home Depo it was clear to everybody around him he had a talent for rhythm that not many people were gifted with.

21 Silence

There was complete silence at Kenny's first funeral as a celebrity but it was quickly broken with snickers from the rest of Moop when the pastor said 'balls'.

22 Journey

Cartman tries to never stop believing, he always holds on to that feeliiiiing.

23 Fire

A fire had broken out spontaneously on Kenny's drumset and Cartman had avoided his funeral because the crowd's panic had interrupted his singing.

24 Strength

Cartman always insisted that he was the strongest one in the group but was always conveniently too tired whenever someone challenged him.

25 Mask

Cartman always wore a mask of neutrality towards everything, but when Mr. Kitty died it had cracked just enough to let the boys know he was capable of emotions other than anger and humor at other people's expense.

- - -

A/N: Here you go, 67676767WOW, who asked me to do the 50 sentence challenge. I'll write the rest a little later. Dx Most of these sentences seem to revolve around Cartman. I didn't expect that either.

Interesting name. That's what they asked me to credit them as. xD For all future requests, I'll automatically use your username if you don't tell me what to call you when I credit you.

I CHALLENGE YOU xNAO. REVIEW EACH SENTENCE OR NO MORE HONORABLE MENTIONS FOR YOU.

Btw, _is_ there anything higher than double platinum? I have no idea.


	23. 50 Sentences 2

26 Ice

Living in a moving automobile for six months was starting to take it's toll on Moop, even mild mannered Stan was ready to kill someone when all the ice in the freezer ran out.

27 Fall

The first person from Moop to trip on stage was Stan as he did the weird guitar jump kick thing he always does, Cartman was not pleased when 168lbs of twenty-two year old landed on his feet.

28 Forgotten

Kyle was always in the background of things and that was the way he liked it, nobody forgot he was a member of Moop, they just choose not to aknowledge him as much as the others.

29 Dance

If there was one thing Eric Cartman did not do, it was dance, Wendy could threaten him with contract pulls all she wants, he is never going to make a fool out of himself on stage.

30 Body

When tabloids first started giving them names like "The Leader" "The Brains" "The Blond" Stan got stuck with the unfortune name of "The Body" which pissed Wendy more than it probably should, nobody else should get to admire Stan shirtless.

31 Sacred

There were some things in the world that were more important than other, for example to Cartman the most important thing was his mom and his Clyde Frog, to Kenny it was girls but for Stan and Kyle friendship was the most sacred of all, if you want to be gay about it.

32 Farewells

Each of the boys had said their goodbyes in a different way when they left South Park for L.A., Kenny had gone out drinking with his dad, Kyle and Ike had spent brotherly time together vedging out on the couch, Cartman went grocery shopping with his mom for the first time ever and Stan had just hugged his parents, too sad to do anything else.

33 World

Much to Cartman's chagrin, after their US tour was finished, they still had to complete their worldwide tour starting with, of all places, _France._

34 Formal

Cartman never got used to the itchy uncomfortable feeling of a tuxedo, no matter how many award shows and movie premiers he went to, it never got any easier.

35 Fever

Wendy presses the back of her hand to Cartman's forehead again and came to the conclusion that he was telling the truth, _this time_.

36 Laugh

Many would say Kyle's laugh was annoying and nasal, Stan said it was _unique_.

37 Lies

Cartman is only 170 lbs, and yes he was on the football team and basketball team in high school and_ of course_ he has a minimum of three girlfriends right now, no you don't need to check.

38 Forever

When Cartman had declared that he had discovered a serum that would make Moop famous forever Kyle wondered when Cartman would grow up and realize celebrities don't go on marvelous childish adventures.

39 Overwhelmed

Sometimes it gets to be too much for the boys, so they lock themselves in their hotel rooms and play video games all day when they're supposed to be performing.

40 Whisper

Kenny is as straight as an arrow, but that doesn't stop him from getting on Cartman's neves by whispering the word 'whisper' in his ears at innapropriate times.

41 Wait

The one thing Wendy really hated about Stan is his total celebrity diva attitude when it comes to getting ready for a date, hair does not take an hour to comb, it just doesn't.

42 Talk

Kyle says Cartman doesn't talk enough, Cartman says Kyle's big Jew nose distracts him from talking.

43 Search

If any member of Moop tells you that they don't Google themselves on a daily basis, they're lying.

44 Hope

Cartman knows cats don't magically come back to life and he wasn't about to get all Stephen King any time soon, but it's okay to hope sometimes.

45 Eclipse

Kyle's first time seriously contemplating Cartman's death was when Cartman had given him AIDS, the second time was when Cartman had thrown him prized book down the garbage disposal for calling him chubby.

46 Gravity

_Cartman's _ first time seriously contemplating killing Kyle was too far back for him to remember, but the fifty-second was definitely when they all went swimming and Kyle wouldn't stop making jokes about Cartman's reluctance to swim because he'd sink to the bottom of the ocean if he tried.

47 Highway

Kenny will never drive on a highway again, only the rest of Moop and thousands of pedestrians know why.

48 Unknown

Seven years ago seems like a long time to an unknown person trying to make it in the business, but for four teenagers seven years seems to go by so fast when your riding high on fame and fortune.

49 Lock

Stan, Kenny and Kyle were definitely not the only people in the world that thought chaining Cartman to a ceiling was funny, they were just the only people in the world brave enough to try.

50 Breathe

Cartman swears to God that if Kyle reminds him to not forget to breathe while he's eating again he will scoop his balls out of his nutsack and feed it to his mom.

- - -

A/N: AKIRA SHOCK!!!

I challenge you once again Ms. Sera. Review each sentence or face the wrath of AKIRA SHOCK! O/:

Akira = **Tomohisa Yamashita.** From the hit Japanese DORAMA 'Nobuta wo Produce'. Honestly, if you can't trust me to recommend shows to you, who can you trust?

Yamapi-kun is hawt. Nuff said. This is why I've been on a Japanese boy high lately.

Kyle is a Twilight fan. Go figure.

YouTube 'Chuu', 'Nobuta's Cursed Hair', 'Akira Shock' and 'Yamapi's Cheek' for the full effect of why I'm blabbering on about something that has nothing to do with Moop.


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